If someone you love has a serious illness, you may have started to wonder whether it is time to talk about hospice, and felt afraid to say it out loud. This gentle guide is for you. Reading it is not deciding anything. It is simply understanding your options, so that whatever you choose, you choose it with clarity instead of fear.

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Part 1: Signs it might be time to talk

  • More trips to the hospital or ER over the last few months
  • Eating less and losing weight without trying
  • Sleeping more, awake and alert less
  • More falls, or new confusion
  • Pain or discomfort that is hard to keep under control, even with medication
  • Several infections in the last 12 months, such as pneumonia or urinary infections
  • Treatment that is no longer slowing the illness
  • A caregiver who is exhausted
  • You have simply started to wonder

If a few feel familiar, it is not too soon. It is the right time to ask questions.

Part 2: What hospice actually is

Hospice is not a place, and it is not giving up. It is a team, nurses, aides, a social worker, a chaplain, that comes to wherever your loved one lives to manage pain and symptoms and support the whole family. The goal shifts from fighting the illness to protecting comfort, dignity, and time at home. For most families, hospice care is covered by the Medicare hospice benefit with little or nothing out of pocket.

Part 3: How to start the conversation

Do not lead with the word “hospice.” Lead with the person: “I want to make sure you are comfortable, and that we are doing this the way you would want. Could we talk to someone who does this every day?” Then listen. You are not asking them to give up; you are asking what matters most, and getting help protecting it.

Part 4: Questions to ask any hospice

  • Who answers the phone at night, and how fast can someone come?
  • How often will the nurse and aide visit?
  • Do you come to wherever our loved one lives?
  • What does Medicare cover, and what would we pay?
  • Are you Medicare-certified and accredited?

Want a copy to keep?

We will email you the printable PDF of this guide.

When you are ready, we are here

You can call and simply talk it through, with no pressure and no obligation. At Lily Hospice, a real person answers day or night, and we care for families across Oakland, Macomb, and Wayne counties, wherever home is.

Call (248) 955-5100 · Send us a message

General education, not medical or benefits advice. The best way to know what applies to your loved one is to ask.

Hospice isn’t giving up. It’s showing up.

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Still have questions? We answered 95 of the ones families ask most.